Project Junction

My daughter Katie picked her wedding photographer.  Before you ask,  Eric Von Bargen is his real name! Eric prefers candid shots with movement over formally posed portraits.

Here’s my daughter’s wedding from his eye Click Here. Remarkable.  He saw things I would never see.

Katie made a wise choice.

As a parenting lesson learned, I said that I would never let a tiny turtle back in my house. However, my personal biography says “I love turtles.” My daughter Katie, noting the contradiction asked, “Which is it, do you love or hate turtles?”

Here’s my explanation. We have a box turtle that lives in our garden. I never feed that turtle. I never clean his aquarium. He’s very low maintenance. I haven’t even burned any mind calories giving him a name. My only obligation to that box turtle is to check under my truck tires and make sure that I don’t run over him when I back out of my driveway. I love that turtle.

“I have no respect for turtles on welfare.”

Katie’s turtle, Franklin, on the other hand was a Trojan horse. He entered my home the size of a quarter in a plastic dish that cost $1.99. We’ve since spent over $100 to upgrade his abode. Franklin consumes large quantities of expensive turtle food. And he poops that expensive food all over his expensive home. There’s not a filter system in the world that can keep pace with his effluence.

Franklin is a turtle on steroids. I swear she’s bred that mutant turtle just to keep me out of her room. I’m scared to step inside with Franklin standing guard.

So the short story is that I do love turtles. I love every self sufficient turtle that lives outside of my home.

I’m collecting your memories from Jamie and Katie’s wedding last weekend. Just press the comment link below to post your observations.

My daughter Katie married Jamie Ives yesterday. I can live with that. He’s the guy every parent wants their daughter to meet.

At a time like this, you can’t help but look back at the years and wonder if you met your responsibilities as a parent. I made quite a few mistakes along the way, but things turned out well despite my failings.

In the project management world, we document our achievements and mistakes in a file called lessons learned. Here’s my parenting lessons from raising Katie.

+ What went well

• Katie loves God and has a moral compass.
• Katie loves her mom and me.
• She loves animals. In fact, she’s been a vegan for some time now despite the fact that her mom and I eat meat.
• She didn’t get a single stitch or break a single bone growing up.
• She’s an incredibly graceful dancer.
• She’s a whiz on the computer. When I have a problem with the iPod, I can ask her for help.
• She appreciates the mathematical nuisances of baseball and the beauty of a staunch defense in football.
• She enjoys a wide variety of music including classical.
• She dresses smartly.
• She’s a hard worker.

++ What could have gone better

• I may have been a bit too restrictive. Ha. Ha. Too late!
• I could have used more of my “Reasonable Mind” to settle disagreements. I just don’t know where that reasonable mind goes when I go toe to toe with Katie.
• I’ll never home school a child again. As a side note: Teachers are WAY underpaid.
• I would have made Katie do more chores around the house.
• I would have never let her bring that 25 cent goldfish she won at the fair into my house. Thanks a lot for encouraging her to play that carny game, Jerry. That goldfish cost me a couple hundred bucks after I purchased an aquarium and all of the accoutrements.
• I would have never allowed her to buy the “tiny” turtle in the plastic tray. She’s had Franklin for years … he’s not little anymore and he scares me.
• We should have attended more Durham Bulls baseball and FSU football games together.
• We would have gone camping every year.
• We would have kept dancing after dinner (we stopped years ago).

My number one regret is that we don’t hug as often as we did when she young.

That’s something I can change. That is something I will change. From this day forward, she doesn’t get in my house without a hug.

A respected IBMer named Gia Lyons left our company to work for a smaller firm jive software. It takes nerve to leave the IBM safety net. I applaud her moxie.

The Newcomer Advantage

Should we worry that Gia is no longer an insider? After all, she’s knows our strategy and she’s could attack us in the marketplace. Pah.LEE.zzz! Get a grip my fellow beamers. Why should anybody worry about her taking our lunch money? We have brilliant minds in IBM and a war chest to fund our projects. Why is that we we fret about these small start ups?

The answer, I fear, is that they have a competitive advantage. That’s right. These nascent companies have a distinct advantage in bringing products to market. Their advantage has nothing to do with strategy and everything to do with execution. You see they run “lean” while we run “heavy.”

The IBM Legacy Millstone

It’s hard to run lean in IBM when you are constrained by legacy checklists, legacy processes and legacy fulfillment systems. These new firms deploy small, self governed teams driven by direct customer feedback. There are some folks in IBM who wouldn’t know a customer if one knocked on the invisible door at their cubicle entrance.

There are other Beemers who welcome customer interaction and apply Agile development principles to their workflow. When these folks break out here in IBM, I suspect that we’ll run all over the upstart competitors. Here’s my keys for breaking out of our cubicle cells.

John’s Keys to Software Development

1. Stop playing it safe by running endless business cases when your gut already knows what you should do. Move. And move fast. Speed doesn’t kill. Speed wins!
2. Stop throwing money and people at problems. The CoCoMo model of software development long ago demonstrated diseconomies of scale. Keep your core team small and travel light.
3. Stop slowing down the players on the field with politics and endless status reporting through multiple layers of non value add executive overhead.
4. Stop gold plating requirements. Build a working model of the core requirements first before you add a single bell or whistle.
5. Start accepting measured risk. This is business. You’re paid to retain some risks.
6. Start using new development processes like Agile and lightweight project management tools.
7. Start dismantling legacy systems and systematically move to a SOA or SaaS model.
8. Stop jive talkin’ and start doing.

Are you telling me that we can’t do this in IBM? Of course we can. The only question is will we? The executives in our company need to put the key into the lock and open the door.

Did you notice that I didn’t include any Tools in my short list above? People and methods are the primary keys to success. In my opinion, collaboration is the nuclear fusion of business innovation. Gia figured that out long ago. And that’s why I’ll continue to listen to her even though she’s now outside of our IBM firewall.
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I watched a TV commercial this morning that stated that 1 in 3 men will have prostate problems. What a way to start the day! Fortunately, the commercial promised that their multivitamin can help. The small print stated … and I’m not making this up:

“A Harvard study suggests that vitamins may protect against prostate cancer.”

Check out that claim closely. A nest of squirrels couldn’t come up with a more legally sound statement. It reminds me of a joust I had with some folks in IBM recently. I wanted to say that our “Power servers provide rock solid reliability.” The reviewers told me that phrase “rock solid” is vague. “What kind of rock — Granite, Marble, or Sandstone?” I was tempted to answer, “Whatever rock your cranium is made of.”

Why can’t we just speak plainly? Why must we add a tiny print weasel words disclaimer to our offering sheets: “Product/feature x may help you under certain conditions unless it doesn’t.” Does anybody even read footnotes today?

Of course, I know that our lawyers are just doing their job; this stuff is mandatory because of our litigious society. And that’s a bummer.fn

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fn: I’ll leave it you to determine if “Bummer” means an unpleasant experience or one who loafs. I felt compelled to be vague with at least one word in this post.

I read the book 175 Ways to Get More Done in Less Time! by David Cottrell and Mark Layton this weekend and found it chock full of useful tips. Here’s just a sampling of tips that relate to how you maintain your desk. Look around. Be honest. How organized and efficient is your workspace?

1. When you don’t want to be disturbed, put your candy dish away. It is an interrupter magnet!
2. A picture or two on your desk is probably not distracting, but limit pictures to a special few. The more pictures on your desk, the more distractions and interruptions you invite.
3. Organize your desktop! If you are right-handed, make sure the phone is located on the left side of your desk. You want to keep the right side of the desk (and your right hand) free to take notes. Just the opposite for lefties. Right-handed people should place the calculator on the right side of their desk. Ditto the above for southpaws, the proud but under-represented!
4. When people arrive to interrupt, meet them at the door and talk outside your office. Letting them in may add minutes to the interruption.
5. Get a spiral-bound notebook, date it, and keep all your notes in the book for future reference. Quit writing on loose papers or sticky notes that tend to get lost.
6. Throw things away! Yes, even those ticket stubs from the last football game. Ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that could happen if I throw this away?” Most of the time, you can live with your answer, so start filling that wastebasket!
7. Clear your desk…NOW! Despite what some people believe, a cluttered desk does not indicate genius. Au contraire! It signals confusion and creates stress. Even mini-clutter will grow and eventually fill every inch. Keep your desk clear of everything except your project du jour and your family picture.

These tips are finite and actionable. They don’t attempt to change your world or your life; they are just intended to save a few precious seconds a day. But remember, those precious seconds can add up like coins in your change drawer.

Try these tips and let us know if they saved you any time. Are there any other tips would you add to the list?
Technorati Tags: desk efficiency interruptions

Please do not write me an email or call me by phone to chat about a blog post unless you are my Mom. She can do anything she wants.

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Note: You may be confused by “Commenting” and “Sharing.”  Let me explain the difference.  You can add your personal view to a post by pressing the Comments link. You can share the post with the broad public by “tagging” it with the share/save button (de.lici.ous). They are two different ways to interact with my blog.  Jump in the water. Try them both.

I met my nephews, Owen and Cole (10 and 12 years old respectively) at the Durham Bulls ballpark on Friday night to watch “the greatest show on dirt.” Here’s the some of the insightful conversations I recorded during the game.

John: Owen, you get in any trouble this week?
Owen: What’d you think?
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Cole: After the Bull’s were shutout 3 innings in a row.
What do we need a scoreboard for? We aint ever gonna score.
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Cole: Owen’s already had five sodas. They’re free if you hit the machine just right.
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John: This batter’s got a .180 average.
Cole: They should suit me up. I could do better.
John: You telling me you’d be a “better batter.”
Cole: Yeah. I’d be a better batter … basically.
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John: In the Ballpark Corner store
Okay guys. Go find yourselves something.
Cole: Watch Owen … he’ll go right for the most expensive stuff.
Owen: 5 seconds later
Look Uncle John, this jersey is only $44. And I can get my name put on the back for only $22 more!
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Owen: After a home run triggered the mechanical bull to light up.
I’d like to be the guy who makes the tail go up and down.
John: Well, you’ve got lofty professional goals my friend. Work hard. Study. You may get there some day.
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John: They’re gonna be shooting fireworks from the field after the game.
Owen: Cool. Let’s hope some hit us.
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Cole: Where’s the peanuts in this bag of cracker jacks?
John: Who needs peanuts when there’s a surprise in every box?
Cole: This is a bag not a box.
John: Your right … it is a bag. Their jingle no longer jingles.
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Owen: Buy me a lemonade. It’s only $5. Dad won’t get me one unless he can squeeze it directly from the tree.
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I don’t know about you, but a night at the ball park sure helps clear away the cobwebs after a week in the office. Is there any better way to unwind?

Technorati Tags: family fun baseball

Fortune asked 25 accomplished people to relate the best and worst advice they ever got. They didn’t ask me, but if they had … here’s what I would have shared.

The best advice I ever got came in the 70’s when hair was long, shirts were silk, and Pablo Cruise ruled the airwaves. That’s my brother Truck in this picture sporting a “cool” white suit with a peach fluffy shirt to set the mood for this post. Notice the canal in this shot. Back then I worked dockside with my dad repairing boat engines.

The Problem

A customer, who we will call Mr. Rich, had a nagging problem with his engines overheating. He’d already called two other mechanics who dismantled and changed the impeller, risers, and heads … but the engines still ran hot. Can you imagine shelling out over $1,000 and still see the temperature dial turn red?

Eventually, Mr. Rich found my Dad in the yellow pages(fn) and we visited him on his boat.

The Simple Solution

After listening to the problem, Dad turned to me and told me to strip down, jump in the water and check the hull. I was a little annoyed. Stripping down to my tidy whitey’s didn’t bother me as much as working in wet underwear the rest of the morning. There was no saying “No” to my Dad so I took a deep breath and jumped feet first into the water (in case it was shallow). When I touched the murky bottom, I pushed up with my hand above my head to feel for the hull and then followed it to the water intake scupper. Sure enough there was a plastic bag stuck in the hole. A simple yank to extract the bag and the problem was resolved.

The perception of work

After I came up out of the water, I told Mr. Rich that I “fixed” the problem by clearing the water intake. “That will be $30.” He looked perturbed. I figured he was upset with the other mechanics that failed to solve his problem. After an uncomfortable pause, Mr. Rich reached into his back pocket, pulled out his wallet and paid my fee.

“Make it look like you expended some effort.” –Salty

Dad forgot to thank me for making quick work of the job. Instead, he stopped at a light a few miles down the road and gave me a healthy tap to my left arm. He then dispensed the best advice I ever got: “Don’t you ever charge someone $30 for 30 seconds worth of work! Next time, dive down at least three times and pound on the bottom of the hull to make it look like you expended some effort.”

The lesson: even though $30 was the right price for the job, if you want repeat business, you must give the customer the perception of value.

Now it’s your turn to share. What’s the best (or worse) advice you ever got?

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fn Yellow pages were an ancient manuscript once used to find telephone numbers