Project Junction

I watched a TV commercial this morning that stated that 1 in 3 men will have prostate problems. What a way to start the day! Fortunately, the commercial promised that their multivitamin can help. The small print stated … and I’m not making this up:

“A Harvard study suggests that vitamins may protect against prostate cancer.”

Check out that claim closely. A nest of squirrels couldn’t come up with a more legally sound statement. It reminds me of a joust I had with some folks in IBM recently. I wanted to say that our “Power servers provide rock solid reliability.” The reviewers told me that phrase “rock solid” is vague. “What kind of rock — Granite, Marble, or Sandstone?” I was tempted to answer, “Whatever rock your cranium is made of.”

Why can’t we just speak plainly? Why must we add a tiny print weasel words disclaimer to our offering sheets: “Product/feature x may help you under certain conditions unless it doesn’t.” Does anybody even read footnotes today?

Of course, I know that our lawyers are just doing their job; this stuff is mandatory because of our litigious society. And that’s a bummer.fn

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fn: I’ll leave it you to determine if “Bummer” means an unpleasant experience or one who loafs. I felt compelled to be vague with at least one word in this post.